nothing to tear us apart
by AnxiousA
Summary: "Sarada was only three but she was already very curious and wise for her age. She spoke in such short but succinct sentences that her eloquence always threw her mother off, but her father was well versed in her uniquely developed language… partly because it was his own. But Sasuke couldn't stay forever… and it would hurt every time he left." bittersweet SasuSakuSara family time :)


He'd already more than earned the name 'Shadow Kage' by now.

Their daughter had just celebrated her third birthday, he wasn't there, but he'd sent along so many thoughtful gifts that the toddler couldn't help but think about how much her papa loved her. Her mother was sad, of course, but she wasn't displeased or disappointed, they'd known he wouldn't be home in time and made all the proper preparations for their hearts. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Or stronger? She had forgotten at this point.

—

Sasuke walked into his home in broad daylight, only slightly put off by the unusualness of the situation. He was usually travelling under cover of night and tended to arrive home in the small hours of the morning. Today was an exception. Sarada's naptime was around now and he quietly opened the front door to find his young wife dozing softly on the couch, having been subconsciously too comfortable and familiar with his chakra signature to be alerted to his presence. He took off his cloak and shoes and gently sat next to her, placing his original arm around her shoulders and resting his newly crafted one on her cheek to wake her up. Her veridian eyes fluttered open and grew wide with recognition.

"Sasuke-kun…" Teasing tears just barely wet her eyelashes before she immediately wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck and inhaling him deeply. She squeezed him, a little too hard for his liking but he wasn't about to ruin this moment. He returned her embrace fully while resting his own cheek to the side of her head, her hair tickling his nose and filling his senses with all pink, all cherry blossoms, all of her.

His chest had been aching for two full days before he figured out just how physical homesickness could become. He'd never felt it before they had Sarada, of course he had missed her and would return to the village frequently and she would even accompany him on some of his missions, so they never really went without seeing each other for more than a few days. But their daughter needed stability, which meant less traveling for Sakura and a bit more for him. Meant longer stretches away from his home.

Sakura pulled back a bit and cupped his face with her hands, suddenly in healer mode.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He understood that by this she meant medical attention, was he hurt, did he need a healing session or bandages, etc. Once she became a professionally trained medical ninja, the healer was never too far underneath the surface. In a sense, it had always been there, even before Tsunade honed her skills. He softly shook his head no. "Just missed you. Our daughter." He leaned into one of her hands, her thumb had been absentmindedly tracing circles around his jaw, carefully memorizing the feel of him. She nodded leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his lips, he immediately responded to her touch and pressed closer. His hands were at her waist, grabbing onto her firmly, partly from fear that something would tear them apart and partly because he never wanted to let go again.

He knew something _would_ tear them apart soon, but he wouldn't tell her that just yet.

Instead he deepened their kiss and pressed himself closer to her, almost begging their bodies to mold into one. He felt her softly gasp against his lips and he took this as encouragement to lay her down on the couch. He showered her face with kisses: her cheeks, her nose, her temples, her yin seal. She giggled at his fervor and dragged her hands slowly down his back, giggles turning into soft moans as he found a sweet spot against her neck to gently nip at. She felt his muscles tense as she palmed his upper back. She'd missed having his weight on her, feeling him so completely… All she wanted in this moment was to be with him in the most literal sense. She felt him growing harder against her stomach and moved one of her hands to tangle in his hair and gently pull his lips to hers. She whispered against them,

"Take me, Sasuke-kun."

He moaned at her brazenness, hastily rid her of her pants and underwear and pushed his own down to his knees and kissed her deeply as he entered her swiftly and fully, eliciting soft moans from each of them. He moved slowly against her hips, testing his limits after not feeling her for weeks and building delicious friction between them. She opened her legs wider and angled herself towards him, aligning their hips for deeper thrusts. She had to bite her lip to keep from crying out and he simply buried his face in between the junction of her shoulder blade and neck to muffle his own sounds.

Soon Sasuke was grabbing her buttocks with both hands and switching their position to a seated one, his hips had grown tired of moving on the narrow loveseat and needed respite — and he'd always quietly loved the way she ground herself into him whenever she was on top. Sakura braced both of her hands on the sofa back behind them and adjusted her legs to more comfortably straddle him. A wide smile was playing on her rosy lips and soft pants were escaping them. Light pink strands of hair were escaping from the long braid she'd hastily put it into this morning, and he couldn't help but think about how much he loved her longer tresses. She moved in circular motions towards and away from him, rubbing herself against the bunched up fabric beneath them and driving him slightly more insane. They both knew they were close and neither of them showed any signs of slowing down.

Before they knew it, they were muffling their moans against each others lips again as Sakura rode out her climax on top of him and his grip had become almost bruising as he spent himself inside her.

They sat like that, slumped against one another, breathing in sync — basking in what can only be described as afterglow — Sakura lightly stroking his hair away from his face and Sasuke rubbing soft circles around her back.

—

Sarada was only three but she was already very curious and wise for her age. She spoke in such short but succinct sentences that her eloquence always threw her mother off, but her father was well versed in her uniquely developed language… partly because it was his own. At her young age, Sarada was a miniature Sasuke and it showed so blatantly. She was even tempered, mild mannered, and very empathetic, Sakura's heart never failed to ache with love and joy to see the two of them together.

During one of Sakura's day shifts, Sasuke and Sarada were in the market buying things for the evening's dinner. Sasuke held Sarada against his chest with his artificial arm and her head rested heavily on his shoulder. From behind, one could make out his silhouette and the bright red bow she always wore at the top of her head, not unlike the one her mother wore when she was younger, and nothing else. Sarada liked being held by her father, she felt as though she could feel his adoration and love for her with each breath he took or with each heartbeat against her little ears. She hadn't known how to express this feeling to him, so she just pressed her face harder into his shoulder and hoped he understood. He did.

They were alike in so many ways.

In his other arm, Sasuke carried their woven grocery basket filled with eel, vegetables and some rice for dinner, he'd planned on making _unagi_ _seiro mushi_ for Sakura and wanted to get fresh ingredients. As they were headed home from the market, Sarada couldn't help but notice the sky on such a beautiful late spring day. There were dainty fluffy clouds hanging above them and she immediately told her father:

"I want to be a cloud, Papa."

"Why is that, peanut?" He asked, a slight smile found its way to his lips, his amusement apparent.

"They're so light and they get to play with the sun and sky all day." Her obsidian eyes were cast upwards, trying to commit every cloud to her newly found memory, picking out the ones that would be her Mama and her Papa, and which one she'd want to be.

"Seems like it would be lovely to be a cloud, peanut." He'd longed for the freedom of the open skies himself as a child, had always seen the appeal of the softness, the innocent cotton of them all.

Sarada just nodded and stared at the sky with wide childlike conviction until they'd returned home, her cheek pressed firmly against her Papa's shoulder.

Yes, they were alike in so many ways.

—

Sakura found them in the kitchen, Sarada clinging to her father once more, raised in his own arm as he cooked with the fabricated one, adding spices to the eel and vegetables before replacing the lid to the bamboo steamer and letting it cook.

"Tadaima!" Sakura called from the doorway, busy taking off her shoes. Her hair had once again been hastily braided and yet again rebellious strands were falling around her face. Sasuke looked over his shoulder from the kitchen and returned:

"Okaeri, Sakura," he looked back to the precocious child on his other arm and softly told her to welcome her mother home.

"Okaeri, Mama." Sarada's little voice was always music to her Mama's ears. Sakura looked up from her shoes and was suddenly filled with emotion at the scene before her: her husband and her child cooking her dinner and waiting for her return. The two had become almost inseparable since Sasuke got back and it filled her heart _every_ time she saw them together. This time, though, after a particularly heart wrenching day at the hospital, Sakura couldn't help but to feel her chest swell a bit more than usual. She'd been so weepy since his return, he'd been so full of love and yearning for his family that it spilled into her very being as well.

Empathy ran deeply through both of their veins and she'd only hoped it wouldn't cause their daughter to have a pillow soft heart.

Sakura quickly swiped at any tears that were forming on her eyelashes and walked into the kitchen. Sasuke turned to greet her with a (very) quick peck on her yin seal, Sarada's wide obsidian eyes greedily took in the brief moment of affection from her Papa, for he rarely showed casual blatant affection to anyone.

"Dinner should be ready soon." He said to Sakura as she opened the bamboo pot to smell its contents. She nodded and smiled brightly at her little family. Suddenly, she couldn't help herself, the tears were back and before she knew it she was full on sobbing in the middle of their kitchen. Panicked, Sasuke took her into his arms and Sarada caressed the top of her mother's head from her paternal perch with her chubby little hands, smoothing out the flyaways from Sakura's scalp.

"What's wrong, Mama? You don't like eel?"

Sakura laughed lightly against Sasuke's chest and turned her face to her daughter.  
"No, Sara-chan, I like eel. These are happy tears, I'm happy you and Papa spend so much time together and I'm happy to come home to you."

Sakura gently placed her hand on her daughter's cheek and wrapped her other arm around Sasuke, holding her little family very close to her.  
"I'm so happy to come home to you." She repeated, stroking Sarada's cheek lightly. She heard Sasuke draw a slow breath through his nose, a sign that he was also feeling the weight of her emotions — one you could only catch if you really knew him.

Sakura pulled away from them to dry her eyes.  
"Gomen'nasai," She sniffed and wiped her tears with her sleeve, "I'm okay now." She smiled brightly at her family, they returned her smile with their own softer ones.

—

That night, after Sarada had been put to bed, Sasuke and Sakura lay in their own softly caressing each other, relearning their bodies together. Molding into one another and exchanging soft sighs and light loving whispers.

That night, Sasuke broke her heart for the hundredth time.

He'd been dreading her question since he decided to take a brief detour from his mission. He hadn't been scheduled to come home, both of them knew that, but on the rare occasion that he did finish his missions early he'd always sent a hawk ahead of him to let her know he was on his way.

There was no hawk this time.

"When are you leaving?" she whispered against his naked chest, she could feel his hand running through her hair, starting at the nape of her neck and gently travelling down, lightly combing the tangled pink tresses with his fingers. Once he'd reach the end, he always restarted at her nape, lightly rubbing the shorter baby hairs there with his thumb before losing his fingers in her hair again.

"Sarada speaks so well lately, you know?" He whispered back to her, uncharacteristically ignoring her question entirely. He couldn't bear to make her sad again, though he could feel the tinges of her despair seeping into his bones. He never wanted to leave her, them. _Us_.

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura's whisper grew quieter, he felt the first of her tears on his chest — it may as well have been a kunai. He placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.

"I love you,"

He rarely said this first, instead it was always being returned in small gestures and smiles, soft sighs and gentle fingertips against her skin, but this time he had to use his words.

"I missed you so much, I had to come home."

He was rarely this expressive, telling her exactly how he'd felt the moment he realized his course would take him within a 30 kilometer radius of the village. He'd told no one of his arrival and hadn't planned on telling anyone of his departure, either. Now he saw the error of his ways, _of course_ he couldn't just come in and completely throw Sakura off track for 48 hours only to leave again. _Of course_ she'd be devastated. _Of course_ it would hurt them both, who knows what it'd do to their daughter.

"I'm… selfish." He said after a while of Sakura's soft tears stabbing into his heart, his lips pressed atop her head.

"S'okay… you're not selfish," She whispered, "I enjoy every moment I have with you. But please answer my question, Sasuke-kun…"

He couldn't bear the quiver in her voice.

"Tomorrow." He stated, barely moving his lips. He didn't want to speak it, childishly hoping that if he'd ignored it, it would simply disappear. Sakura nodded her head slowly against his chest and tightened her grip on him.

She didn't want anything to tear them apart.

—

It would hurt every time he left.


End file.
